Catching Fire with Shameless Audacity

Have you ever wondered, “Why did God make me this particular way?” Why am I more quiet than loud or vice versa. Why God did you make me this particular way? I have always wondered this- never thinking perhaps my personality is supposed to fit in the exact niche God has set for me in the kingdom. I never had this perspective- until it hit me like a ton of bricks- TODAY. I had an “aha” moment of this is why he made me this way.

For years, I have always been told I am overly enthusiastic about things. People used to always point out my facial expressions and the light that would fill my face when I would become excited about something. And I think, in some odd way, I felt a little ashamed of this “overenthusiasm.” But today, I see it differently. My overenthusiasm lends itself into my passions and vice versa. I can shamelessly break into song or dance at any point of the day if I truly feel comfortable being myself and feel safe around people. I have always been this way- so I believe it is something God wrote into my DNA the moment I was conceived. I’m a little quirky- which if you truly knew me- you would see.

The problem is- over time- the beauty he had in mind for me has been convoluted by other people’s opinions, expectations, and overall sinful nature. Sin causes us to hide. As a result, I believe I associated these parts of my personality as something to be hidden. If I didn’t feel safe, in these moments of shame, I would hide myself and not let my true self be seen by others. They wouldn’t accept me for who I truly am- so for years, I hid it as if not to be ridiculed or shamed by these parts of me that are truly inborn. But I failed to consider that God truly had something unique in mind for me when he created me with these- for lack of a better word- quirks. But these are what makes me different from other people- set apart in his kingdom, for a specific purpose. It is the conformity to adapt to the expectations and opinions of the world that we lose the unique person he created. If God wanted to create robots- all the same, blending into the crowd, then he would have done it. But no, he created you and me to be totally unique and special. He knows the number of hairs on our head. And he had great intention in our personality formation. As a counselor, I can tell you there is an age-old debate about nature and nurture and their role in our personality development. I believe God has a formula written up for our personalities. He an ideal or best and most healthy version of ourselves. However, I believe the more we buy into conformity or allow the world to shame the most beautiful person he created the more we stray from the beautiful formula he developed when we were conceived.

When people say something hurtful, this creates a trauma. If you know anything about trauma, you would know trauma has the ability to affect our brain chemistry. The functions of our brain are biological in nature but trauma creates a block between reality and an idealistic world. In order to fit the ideals and expectations of society, we morph ourselves to become more like the world. Now this may sound like a dystopian novel, but I can assure you (I have the credentials to back it up) this is how we become less like the person God initially created.

I saw a movie recently, Captain Marvel, and in my nerdy theology loving way, I made a corollary to Biblical truth. During the movie, the main character Carol was constantly told by her mentors and everyone else around her she was simply too “emotional” to ever reach her greater capacity. However, as Carol eventually discovered, it was the people who were critical of her that were holding her back. Her emotional connection was actually an adversary- unique to her, set her apart, and gave her strength. When she was finally able to push past the noise of identity conformity, she was finally able to reach her greater potential and become something new entirely.

I believe this happens to us as Christians time and time again. We are listening to the haters and critics who are calling us to conform into their image, not Christ’s!

Paul addressed this with the Romans saying, “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture are you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.” (Romans 12:2) Be encouraged my friends! The Romans struggled with this same issue- even in 57 A.D.! Our identity is being sucked up by the culture and the ideals of which we live.

In order to push past this prison of conformity- we need to see ourselves as God’s intended and unique creation. Drop the haters and let God lead you into the beautiful intention he mapped out-before you were even born! Then allow him to direct you to place in the kingdom he intends your gifts, talents, and personality to fit and be used!

We fit in his kingdom like puzzle pieces. Each piece is designated to a certain place in the body of Christ. In order to know our place in the kingdom, we have to fully embrace and accept the unique individuals God created us to be! If we conform, we are attempting to take someone else’s place and that is why the puzzle doesn’t fit. Be a quirky and unique YOU and you will find the place God has designated. But if you try to throw away and change your charisma, you won’t find your place. It will be a struggle! You will feel lost.

The word I used to describe myself earlier is “enthusiastic.” Enthusiasm catches like fire. Passion makes people excited and want to join in on a greater mission. As I shared several times in different contexts each time, my favorite verse is Hebrews 6:11-12. I read it constantly and today I captured something so beautiful and unexpected. “But we long to see you passionately advance until the end and you find your hope fulfilled. So don’t allow your hearts to grow dull or lose your ENTHUSIASM, but follow the example of those who fully received what God has promised because of their strong faith and patient endurance.” God wants me to use my enthusiasm and shameless audacity to catch fire for the kingdom! And you best believe I am going to fully embrace it- quirks and all!