Finding Comfort in the Mystery

Another year has come and gone. Quickly. Yet not so quickly. It was filled with strife and pain but as I look back I wonder, how did I get here so fast. I feel like I was just turning 26. I feel like I was just looking forward to graduating. I graduated. I accomplished what God had asked me to so many years ago and I hear myself and everyone else asking, “Now What?” God knows “Now What?” But you know what, he also is asking me to trust him, for things will be revealed in his timing.

The beauty of His way is its perfection. The downside of his way is realizing that it is a hidden mystery and will only be revealed in his timing. But as I wait, I am active. I am actively engaging, searching, seeing his fingerprints, his pathways, listening to see if I can hear his voice among crowds. His voice stirs and calms me. Now one else has that effect on me. He can make me feel comfort when no one else can. He has come through as faithful again and again, and I know I can trust him. This in and of itself drowns out the naysayers. It drowns out my thoughts too- the thinking, the wondering, the planning. He knows that is how my brain works. He knows because he made me this way. I think he is holding back because he wants me to learn patience and trust. These things don’t come easy for me. In fact, they go so against my grain. He is teaching me to fight the natural inclinations of my soul, my deepest desires, my flesh. He is training me how to find comfort in the mystery.

Now let me set this straight. I am not a person who likes not knowing what is going to happen next. It is quite the contrary actually. But with him I am learning how to dance in the wonder of the mystery. He emboldens me, gives me courage, fills me with the kind of bravery I could never experience on my own. I don’t like exploring strange and unfamiliar places. Let’s just stick with what we know and that will be that. We don’t need to explore the mysterious beyond. I am comfortable right here where I know exactly what is coming next. It is predictable. It is not scary.

But life with God calls me deeper into uncomfortable scenarios, yet somehow he makes them comfortable. He is my comfort and safe place. He is a warm and cozy blanket and I feel like I can wrap myself in him. Psalm 16:8 in TPT says, “Because you are close to me and always available, my confidence will never be shaken, for I experience your wrap around presence every moment.” Do you know that feeling of drinking a soothing cup of tea gives you- a warmth and comfort that is unexplainable? That is what God’s presence feels like to me.

He soothes me. He comforts me. He wraps himself around me. He is so good. He takes the opportunity to make me feel good, special, love, and cared for. He is my fuzzy blanket. He is my safe place. He is my comfort. Because of who he is, I am learning to find comfort in the mystery.